David-ka-bob

Brad, Gabe, David Cauffman and myself are drunk and at IHOP. To my recollection I can't remember what we were doing before, but there we were sitting at IHOP eating our food and David is rambling on incessantly about his new (at the time) girlfriend. The three of us knew this girl was scandalous she had cheated on him a couple of times before, she treated him like shit and was generally not a nice person.
Just to let the ladies know when a guy is having girl issues he will tell his boys the boys will then give what advice they deem necessary; then said crybaby will either heed the advice or not, simple as that. David, however, decided to keep bitching and moaning and complaining throughout our sobering up breakfast, that is a no-no. Lana this, Lana that, bla bla fucking bla.
We tell David to keep his whinings to himself or there would be consequences. David being David laughs and does not heed the warning. After several more minutes of LANA LANA LANA WHY? Gabe has had enough, he calmly looks over at David and says.

"If I hear Lana one more fucking time I'm gonna fucking stab you."

Silence. Everyone continues eating, time passes and then David begins talking again; he didn't so much as get out L-A-N before a brown blur shot across the table. At first I wasn't sure what exactly had happened until David shreiks.

" Oh my God, he just fucking stabbed me." he then lifted his shirt revealing four little bleeding puncture marks.

Once David had uttered the forbidden name Gabe simply took his fork, jammed it in David's chest and continued to eat his eggs like nothing had happened. It was at this point Brad and I lost it, I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. After the commotion ended I looked at Gabe and told him I couldn't believe that he really stabbed David and Gabe simply replied.

" I fucking told him not to say her name again."

The moral of this story is never give a drunk, pissed off Mexican a reason to stab you.